


I'm Gonna Poltergeist the Shit Outta You

by sierra_roe



Category: You (TV 2018)
Genre: But not that much, Canon-Typical Behavior, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Death, Gen, Multi, Occult, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Stalking, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:15:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sierra_roe/pseuds/sierra_roe
Summary: Forty comes back as a ghost, and he is not happy with Joe.
Relationships: Joe Goldberg/Forty Quinn, Joe Goldberg/Love Quinn
Comments: 7
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Joe is barely aware of it the first time it happens. He’s shelving the new shipment of self-help books at Anavarin before the store has opened for the day, moving over the old ones to make room for the new. As he bends to take the final book out of the box, he catches a whiff of Santal 33, so faint it might be a memory. The cologne that Forty always wore. Joe freezes for a moment, then shakes it off. Just his imagination playing tricks on him. 

_They say that smell memory is the strongest of the memories, Forty. It’s no surprise I can’t forget you, still working here, only a few feet from the place where you died._

A couple weeks later, it happens again. Joe is helping a customer to find Oprah’s latest book pick, American Dirt – _Really, you couldn’t spot it on your own, right in the front of the new book display like this?_ – when he catches a flash of a dark floral pattern out of the corner of his eye and jumps. The person wearing it turns around. It’s not Forty after all. Joe swallows nervously and tries to shake it off. 

Joe can put this kind of thing out of his mind, for the most part. After all, he’s about to be a father. Love is in her third trimester and keeping him busy fetching Moon Juice whenever she craves it. Clearly this idea about Moon Juice as a cure-all runs in the family. There are doctor’s appointments to go to and pre-natal yoga classes to attend. As well as their birth training appointments with Love's doula and the endless, endless preparation of the birth plan. Love has been dealing with her grief by doubling down on planning for the new life, and Joe is more than happy to join her. When he’s not busy watching their mysterious neighbor, that is. 

So these small moments, the flashes of Forty that Joe keeps seeing at Anavrin, in the book corner, in the kitchen, by the dumpster when he’s taking out the flattened cardboard recycling, these are all incidents he can write off. Until…

Joe is in the stock room, on hands and knees to reach into the back of the lowest shelf to grab the last box of register books. The register books are impulse buys that get shelved near the register, stupid little gift books that you pick up for that person you don’t know how to shop for and don’t care enough to learn about, or even think of, until you arrive at the register to pay for something else. Somehow the last box of _101 Life-Affirming Mantras For the Working Woman_ has gotten pushed to the very back and Joe has to practically crawl into the shelf to retrieve it. 

“You trying to seduce me, old sport?”

Joe jumps violently, slamming his head on the shelf above him.

“Fuck!” He rolls his way out of the shelving unit sideways, clutching his splitting head. He sees a pair of legs and looks up, afraid of what he’s about to see. 

_Wait, that’s just Calvin._

“What… what did you just say?”

“I just asked what you were looking for. Jesus, are you okay? I heard your head hit that shelf from here. I thought you heard me come in.”

Joe sits on the floor, with his head still in his hands. “I… I’m okay. I think I’m okay.”

Calvin looks concerned, “Well, take your time. I want you to sit here and make sure you’re all right. I’ll take care of restocking those books.”

Calvin departs and Joe tries to pull himself together. 

_It’s okay, you’re okay. Forty’s not here. It’s just your mind playing tricks on you. You’re in the stock room at Anavrin, you’re sitting on the floor, you just hit your head._ Joe closes his eyes and starts to do some of the breathing exercises he’s been learning with Love. 

When he opens them, Forty is standing in front of him, clear as day, wearing the clothes he died in.

“Holy SHIT!” In a panic, Joe scrambles to his feet. He’s across the stock room, plastered to the opposite wall before he even knows it. 

“Old sport! I can’t say that this was the reaction I was expecting from you! I thought you’d be happy to see me. It’s been, what, seven months since you basically got me killed? Don’t you miss me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of a nerd about fragrances and I've got this really specific headcannon that Forty wears Santal 33. The New York Times said about this scent "Santal 33 quickly became a sort of cult secret, whispered through wafts of sandalwood and cedar, only detected by those in the know... what started out as a collective craving for a boutique signature scent — something no one else wore — has now become a predictable presence on the New York City subway, at bars in London, cafes in Paris, even on the beach in Los Angeles. It has been wholly embraced by the fashion flock and A-list celebrities alike... and nearly everyone who follows them." So like, trendy and exclusive, but also basic at the same time, much like Forty in his quest for Hollywood success (sorry Forty).
> 
> I'd love to know what scent other people think Forty would wear!


	2. Chapter 2

_Holy shit. That’s Forty. Forty is dead, and he’s standing here, in Anavrin. This can’t be happening. I’m going crazy._

“Glad to see you haven’t moved on, old sport. Still working here, right in the place where you got me killed.”

“I… Forty? You’re … but you’re dead!”

“You’re goddamn right I am, and yet somehow, here I am, back here with you, you murdering piece of shit. No, stop closing your eyes. Fucking look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Joe is breathing raggedly, pressed up against the wall. He can’t bring himself to meet Forty’s eyes. Even acknowledging what he’s seeing hurts. Forty moves in closer, but Joe has no where to go, already backed into a corner. 

Joe swallows hard. “Forty, look, I never wanted you to die. I had no idea that cop was going to show up and shoot you! If you hadn’t been holding that gun to my head—”

“Shut the FUCK up. The biggest regret of my afterlife has been not pulling that trigger when I had the chance.”

“I’m sorry! Forty, I’m sorry! Can you please just stop yelling at me?” Joe squeezes his eyes shut again.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Joe hears Calvin’s voice and opens his eyes. Forty is nowhere to be seen. “Dude, what happened? I was only gone for a few minutes. Do you need me to take you to the hospital?”

Joe slides down the wall until he’s sitting on the floor with his head in his hands. “No.. no, I’m okay, Calvin.”

“Alright, if you say so, but you seriously do not look good. I want you to go home for the rest of today. Don’t come back until you’re feeling better. I can’t have you out there scaring the customers, with a head injury and looking like you just saw a ghost.”

“Looking like what?” Joe snaps his head up.

“Don’t worry about it man, just go home and get some rest.”

As Joe leaves Anavrin, he hears a distant voice say, “What’s Calvin doing here? Didn’t I fire that guy?”

* * *

Joe unlocks the front door to the home he shares with Love and steps inside. He can hear her in the kitchen, cooking and singing to herself. The whole house smells like something delicious.

“Joe, what are you doing home so early? I thought you were working until late today.” she says when he enters the kitchen.

“It’s stupid. I hit my head on a shelf, and Calvin got concerned and sent me home. I’m fine, really.”

“My poor darling! Why don’t you go lay down and I’ll get you some ice for your head.”

In bed with the ice, Joe thinks about what just happened. 

_Let’s think about this logically. I hit my head. I thought I saw Forty. But there’s no way he was really there. Maybe I have a concussion. Head injuries can do some strange things some times. I just need to sleep it off, and I’ll feel better in the morning. The best thing is to just put it out of my mind for now._

Joe flips over and reaches under the bed to where he keeps his laptop. He opens it and logs onto a password-protected account he’s named “Guest.” It’s nothing of the sort, of course. He opens a browser window and loads a set of bookmarked tabs called “Neighbor.” Immediately, all of his alluring neighbor’s social media accounts pop up on the screen. 

_You. I’ll just see what you’ve been up to today._

Joe’s feeling better already. 


	3. Chapter 3

Joe wakes up in the morning feeling surprisingly refreshed. After a pleasant morning breakfast of tea and fresh pastries with Love, he heads to Anavrin. Everything feels like it’s back to normal. Sure, his head is still hurting, but it’s a beautiful sunny day and it’s easy enough to throw himself back into the routine of work. 

At least until he looks up and locks eyes with Forty, who’s standing directly on the opposite side of the bookshelf. 

“What’s it like, old sport, still being here every day, just a few feet from where my all blood leaked out into the hardwood? You remember how big that stain was? Man, it must have taken them forever to get it cleaned up!"

“Forty, please, stop!” Joe hisses under his breath. 

_Am I going crazy? Did I really just speak out loud to a figment of my imagination? I hope no one heard that._

Forty slides around to the other side of the bookshelf, “They might have refinished the flooring, but you’ll never be able to sand and varnish me out of your head, Joe. Like it or not, I’m back, baby.”

Joe can feel himself close to hyperventilating. _I’ve gotta get some air._ He takes off his apron and rushes out back near the dumpsters. Forty walks out right behind him.

“Hey, remember that time I had us kidnapped? Right here, old sport! Man, those were our best days, before it all went to shit, because of you.”

“Forty, what do you want? Why are you following me?”

“Look, you think I asked to be stuck here with you? You, the guy who literally ruined my life, got my sister knocked up, and killed a literal fuckton of people? Full offense, but you’re the last person I want to be sharing my undead airspace with right now.”

Joe hears the back door open and looks around. It’s Calvin. When he glances back to Forty, he see that he’s gone.

“You okay, Will?”

“No, I’m not okay. I can’t work here anymore.”

_Okay, this is a little impulsive..._

“What? This seems a little sudden. Did something happen? Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Nothing. I just can't be here anymore.”

Joe abruptly turns and walks away from a confused Calvin. 

_Okay. This may have been a bad idea. Love wants me to keep working so we’re not relying on her family altogether. But fuck it. Fuck this place. I’ll get a job somewhere else. Some place without all these bad memories attached to it. Without Forty hanging around all the time._

Sitting in his car, Joe pulls out his phone. _I’ll look up job postings right now. But first, just a quick social media check._

After looking through his neighbor’s latest instagram story from his finsta account, Joe starts to calm down.

_There’s no reason to start applying to jobs right this second. I can give myself some time between jobs, to re-collect myself. I’m never going to make a good impression if I’m in a panic. And it looks like you, my sexy neighbor, are headed out to an American Humane Society adoption event right now. It wouldn’t hurt anything for me to swing by. Just to take a look. After all, I love dogs. Just like you._

* * *

Joe sits in his car, parked on top of a hill. Somehow, by some miracle of the LA parking gods, he’s found a spot where he can actually see the event that’s going on in the park. Well, he can see it through the binoculars he keeps in the glove compartment, but it still counts. 

_Let’s see, where are you? Beagles, goldens, pitbull mixes… you’ve got to be in here somewhere. What dog breed is your type? I’m picturing something like a labradoodle… trendy but not high maintenance._

Joe sighs.

_Well, I’m sure you’ll turn up soon enough._ He lowers his binoculars and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees that Forty is sitting next to him in the passenger seat, and looking straight at Joe, as if he’s been there all along. 

Joe puts his elbows on the steering wheel, buries his head in his hands, and takes deep breaths. _This isn’t real. It’s not happening. He’s just in my mind. He’s not really here. My mind is playing tricks on me and if I focus hard enough, I can force it to stop._

Forty laughs at him, “Sport, stop trying to hide from me! Covering your eyes isn’t going to make me go away. Are you a two year old?? Grow a pair of object permanence balls, broseph."

_Object permanance? But he disappears and reappears at will!_

“You’re damn right I do, old sport. So, why are you creeping on a bunch of dogs at a public park? You secretly a furry or something?"

_Oh fuck, Forty can hear what I’m thinking._

“Yeah, no shit, Cumberfuck. You know, it really clears up a lot of questions for me. Now I know what was going on all those times you got creepy-quiet. I’ve gotta say, hearing it does NOT make it any less creepy.” Forty rests his chin on his hand in a mock thoughtful position.

Joe presses his lips together. He’s not sure what to do. He’d left Anavrin hoping that Forty wouldn’t show up once Joe was far away from the place where he died, but here he was again. Maybe he can willfully ignore him out of existence. Joe raises the binoculars to his eyes again and turns back to the dog park. 

_There you are, you. Is that.. a labradoodle you’re about to adopt? Did I correctly guess your favorite breed?_

“Ew, labradoodles are like so 5 years ago,” Forty interjects, “Did you know that the breed creator hates them so much he wishes he’d never made that breed? I guess he and I both know what it’s like to suffer for our terrible mistakes. At least his didn’t get him killed."

Joe breathes in sharply and scowls as he tries to refocus himself on his task at hand. 

“You know, I never had you pegged for a dog person, old sport. Hey, speaking of pegging, does Love ever have you take it up the ass for her?"

“What??”

“No? I always had a feeling you’d be into that kind of thing. Anyway, something seems weird here, so I’d really like to know what the fuck you’re doing with those binoculars. Who are you watching and why?”

“No one. No reason.” Joe says while still staring intently through his binoculars.

"Suit yourself,” Forty shrugs, “You know I’m just going to find out from your weird-ass internal monologuing soon enough." 

“You know what, I actually have to get going,” Joe says, angrily throwing his car into drive and attempting to un-parallel park. It would be a more effective gesture of anger if, say, he could just peel out, instead of having to go back and forth repeatedly to get out of the tight space. It’s also ruined by Forty clearly recognizing what’s going on and smirking at him deliberately the whole time. 

“You grew up in New York, right? No wonder you never learned how to drive. Aren’t you people like legally obligated to take the subway everywhere or something?”

Joe merges onto the freeway with Forty making snarky remarks about his driving the whole time. At a certain point, distracted by traffic, he manages to tune out his comments, and when he looks over again, Forty is gone. Joe breathes a sigh of relief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forty as antagonistic ghost/hallucination is inspired by a similar character in season 2 of The Leftovers, which is an excellent tv show that I highly recommend checking out. 
> 
> The creator of the Labradoodle really did say that it’s his life’s regret: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/25/us/labradoodle-creator-regret.html


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter gets a bit weird/smutty towards the end

Joe arrives at home again with no sign of Forty, to his relief. Love meets him at the door.

“Joe, is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, Love. Why do you ask?”

“Because of this text I just got from Calvin. He said you just walked out of work today?”

_Oh. Right. Of course I should have known that Calvin would tell her immediately. I probably would have thought of it if I hadn’t been so distracted by Forty fucking Quinn._

And speak of the devil, Forty himself appears behind Love. “Yeah man, I don’t know how you thought she wouldn’t find out. What were you thinking? You know our parents own the place, right?”

Joe’s eyes flick to Forty, but he quickly catches himself and tries to bring himself back to Love.

“I did walk out. It’s just that being there, in that place… I know we talked it through right after it happened, and I said that I was fine to go back to work there, but it suddenly just all caught up with me. I thought I was about to have a panic attack!”

“I mean, you’re not EXACTLY lying…” Forty adds.

“I just… Joe, I don’t understand. I’m really sorry that happened to you, but why on earth did you just tell me that everything was fine just now when it’s clearly not? Having a panic attack at work is not the definition of fine.” says Love.

“I’m sorry. Today has been a little overwhelming for me, that’s all. I’m probably not at my best right now.”

Love’s face is tight. “I need you to be a good partner for me, Joe. Now more than ever. I can’t have you not communicating about important things like this.”

Forty stands behind her, nodding his head in agreement. Joe feels like they’re both ganging up on him, even if Love doesn’t realize Forty is there. 

Love’s brow is still furrowed. “Joe, you know I expect you to be completely honest with me. I just don’t understand why you didn’t text me when it happened. I could have come to help you. We’re partners. You know I’m here for you.”

Joe steps forward and takes her in his arms, “I am so sorry, Love. You’re completely right. I just don’t know what came over me. Can you forgive me?”

Love sighs and kisses him, “Yes, I can forgive you. I’m just hurt you didn’t trust me with what you were going through.”

* * *

And so it continues for the next few days. Every time Joe thinks maybe Forty is going to be gone for a while, he’ll show up at the least opportune time commenting on the topic Love and Joe are discussing, or whatever Joe is doing at the moment. Job searching, watching tv, cooking, even showering, to Joe’s alarm. Forty has no regard for privacy. When Joe questions him on it, he swears that he can’t control if he’s with Joe or not, but Joe has his doubts. The worst was when he managed to appear while Joe and Love were having sex. When Joe saw him, he let out an involuntary yelp and had to fake a leg cramp to get out of continuing, much to Forty’s amusement. 

Joe isn’t sure if he’s being paranoid, but he starts to get the sense that Love might be getting some idea of what’s going on. It’s subtle, to be sure, just a note of suspicion in her eyes, a sense that she’s paying slightly more attention than usual to how he’s acting. She’s on her phone more than usual, texting her friends almost non-stop throughout the day. 

Joe occasionally wonders if he should go to a doctor to make sure there isn’t anything actually wrong with his brain. Maybe it’s a sudden onset of schizophrenia caused by the recent stress. But he doesn’t want to worry Love, and plus, he’s gotten good at hiding things throughout his life, so hiding this feels like second nature. 

Or at least, he thinks he’s gotten good at hiding things…

One morning, Love announces rather abruptly that she’s going to meet Gabe for juice. A small part of the back of Joe’s mind notes that something seems wrong, but most of him is relieved that he’ll finally get some time alone. He hadn’t realized what it would really be like sharing the same house 24/7, with no job as a distraction or excuse to be elsewhere. It’s really cut into his stalking time. 

* * *

Love meets Gabe at a cafe/yoga studio that does amazing fresh pressed juices. They sit in a cozy corner lined with bohemian rugs and hassocks.

“I feel like I know what’s going on from your texts, but talk to me, girl."

Love blows air out between her teeth, “I just don’t get what’s been going on with Joe recently. First, he quit his job and thought he could get away with not talking to me about it, like I wouldn’t find out immediately or something. And then, things have just feeling off with him. He’s even started acting weird during sex, like he’s not present in the moment. Like he’s thinking of someone else.”

“Hmm. I know you pretty well, and I don’t want you to jump to conclusions, but I feel like I know where your head’s going with this.”

“Right?” Love takes a deep breath, “I think there might be someone else.”

Gabe sighs, “Well if you’re going to confront him about it, just be careful. I know how intense you can get about this kind of thing and I would hate to see it damage your relationship, with the baby coming soon...”

“It’s exactly because the baby is coming soon that I have to get it off my chest! I can’t go around pretending nothing’s wrong when it clearly is. I have to resolve this with him now, not later when I’m even closer to my due date, or even worse, after the baby is here. Can you imagine if he was cheating on me when we have a newborn in the house?” Love’s eyes start to get a little watery. “I just keep thinking about how much I wish Forty was here for me to talk to about this.”

“Oh, honey.” Gabe wraps her up in a hug. “I know you’ll do the right thing. You can get through this."

* * *

At home, with Love gone, Joe takes the opportunity to unpack his telescope from where he’s stashed it in the garage, and set it up so he can take a look at what his neighbor might be doing in her bedroom. He sets up the telescope in the top floor of their house, in the spare bedroom that they’re using as an office space, pointing it directly into their neighbor’s bedroom. 

“Oh, I get it now,” says Forty, “You’re a pervert, and not in a fun way.”

Joe’s almost gotten used to him appearing like this now. He barely jumps this time. 

“What, do you steal her panties too? Oh my god, look at your face, you totally do! What is wrong with you, man?”

Joe tries to change the topic, “So I was wondering, where are you when you’re not here?”

Forty crosses his arms. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“No, seriously. If you’re going to be hanging around like this, the least you can do is clear some things up that I’ve always wondered about. What’s the afterlife really like?”

Forty sits down in an armchair and looks like he’s considering how to respond. “You wanna know the truth? It’s actually a lot like a hotel.”

“Like a hotel?”

“But like, a a shitty mid-level management business traveler hotel. Not the kind you could pay me to stay in, not if I had a choice.”

Joe shoots Forty a skeptical look. Is he just fucking with me right now?

“Yeah, you could even say I wouldn't be caught DEAD there. Get it, sport?”

Joe rolls his eyes and turns back to his telescope. 

Forty gets up and stands next to Joe. “Broseph, I know I’ve been joking around here, but I am serious about not liking this stalking. This isn’t good for Love, and it’s not good for you either, and I can already tell it sure as fuck won’t end well for your neighbor.”

Joe glares through his telescope, “Well Forty, in case you don’t know, you’re dead and not really here, so your opinions don’t carry a lot of weight these days.”

There’s a light of anger that sparks up in Forty’s eyes. He leans in close towards Joe, and staring straight at him, pulls his arm back and slaps the telescope hard, sending it violently tumbling end over end. It hits the corner of the desk with a loud crack. Joe jumps back in alarm, nearly falling over. 

“What the fuck, man!” Joe looks back and forth between Forty and the broken telescope, “Did that seriously just happen? Can you move objects?”

“I don’t know, what do YOU think? Did I knock it over or are you just clumsy?”

“Can you seriously just give me a straight answer for once?”

“Look man, did you ever think that maybe it’s just your conscience getting to you?” Forty gets close to Joe, pointing at him as he speaks. If he had a physical form, he would have been grabbing Joe’s shirt. “You know deep down that what you’re doing here is wrong. So personally, I wouldn’t be too fucking surprised if you were just sabotaging yourself here.”

Joe’s head is spinning. He doesn’t know what to believe anymore. His face crumbles and he starts to cry.

“Oh no, sport, listen.” Forty, not expecting that his words would have been quite so effective, looks dismayed to see Joe crying, "I believe in you. You don’t have to be a bad person. You’ve got good vibes, you just have to do the right thing, not the stalker thing. Look, stop crying, I can’t handle it when you cry and I don’t have any Moon Juice on hand.” Forty tries to pat Joe’s shoulder but his hand goes right through him. It’s the thought that counts though. Joe sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his hand. He packs the broken telescope back into its box dejectedly.

“When I came to LA, I told myself I wouldn’t fall back into this pattern, but here I am. You’re right, Forty, I need to stop doing this.”

“Look man, there’s a 12 step program for everything. If anyone would know that, it’s me! We’ll just get you into stalkers anonymous or something. I bet there’s a good celebrity one and everything, some place that’s like a nice resort. It could be a great networking opportunity for you, sport.”

“Yeah, I guess so…” Joe heads downstairs with his laptop, with Forty trailing behind him. They sit down on the couch in the living room. 

“I mean, if you want a real suggestion for a way to feel better, porn always worked for me when I was in this kind of mood.”

Joe doesn’t like the fact that he’s taking this suggestion seriously, but Forty does have a point. “Yeah, maybe, but just like, can you go away while I do that?”

“Nah sport, I’m not going anywhere! The thing that sucks about the afterlife is that they don’t have wifi in that shitty hotel so there’s no way to look at porn. You’re my only hope here broseph, let’s look at something good. Hook me up!"

Joe opens his laptop and types in a search term. 

“That guy’s not very attractive. I feel like you can do better. Okay, type this in,” Forty gives Joe the name of a performer. Unsure of what else to do, Joe hesitates a second then types the name into the search box. “Yeah, click that video there.” Forty points one out. “That’s the good shit.” 

They start watching it, and out of the corner of his eye, Joe can see that Forty has slid his hand down his pants. He tries his best to ignore it, and just watch the video that’s playing.

Forty unzips his fly and fully pulls his cock out. Joe continues watching the porn, but also sneaks a glance over and looks at Forty now and again. Forty seems to be doing the same, and occasionally their eyes meet until Joe gets embarassed and looks away.

“Don’t let me stop you from jerking off, bro,” Forty says, “No shame here.”

Joe gives in and starts to stroke his cock, looking more openly at Forty. Even in his afterlife, he has the same energy he did while he was alive. Forty, it turns out, is not a quiet masturbator. He makes small sighs and gasps as he touches himself. To Joe’s mild horror, he’s turned on at the sounds. He wishes that the porn they’re watching was the only thing that was turning him on at the moment, but he can’t deny that it’s surprisingly hot to see and hear Forty stroking it next to him. 

Without warning, Forty gets up and flips around, so he’s straddling Joe, his knees on either side of him on the couch. He looks into Joe’s eyes as he continues to stroke his cock, leaning over Joe as he braces himself with one hand on the back of the couch. 

“Pull up your shirt, sport,” he says, and for some reason that Joe himself doesn’t fully understand, he does. 

Increasing the speed of his hand, Forty shudders and comes onto Joe’s bare chest, hot drops of cum that Joe is shocked to find feel extremely real. As the last of it lands on him, Forty disappears and Joe is left confused and with cum all over his chest and belly.

_What the fuck just happened?_

Any further speculation on the logistics of ghostly jizz is interrupted by an even more unpleasant surprise as the front door opens and Love enters. Joe’s eyes grow wide in horror and he slams the laptop shut. In a split second, Love’s face goes through the stages of walking in on someone masturbating: confusion, shock, alarm, acceptance, finally landing on disgust. 

“Really? You just do that here on the couch where anyone could walk in? I was just having juice with Gabe, what if I’d brought him back here with me?” Love grabs a box of tissues off the counter and throws it at Joe. “Get yourself cleaned up. I want to talk to you.”

Still in a state of shock, Joe wipes Forty’s come off his chest and pulls his shirt down. He puts his cock away and zips up.

“You’ve been acting so out of character lately. I have to ask you something Joe. Have you been seeing someone?"

Joe freezes. 

_Seeing someone? Surely she can’t mean Forty? But how could she know?_

“You know I value radical honesty, so if there’s another woman, I need you to be upfront with me, Joe.”

_Oh, so not Forty. Thank god._

“Love, I promise you, there isn’t anyone else. It’s only you.”

“No, I don’t think I believe that. I saw your face just now when I asked you. If that’s not guilt then I don’t know what is. I’m going to my parents’ for the night. Text me when you’re ready to be honest with me.” She leaves, slamming the door. 

“Fuck!” Joe shouts, impotently throwing the balled up tissues that he’d had in his hand the whole time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna tell you this, and hopefully it isn't some kind of writing TMI, but I got really stuck on this chapter because I wrote myself into a corner with a bizarre sex scene that I ended up cutting. That mention of Forty showing up while Joe and Love were having sex? Yeah, that was originally like a full chapter long, but I couldn't figure out how to end it so I just cut it out completely. It was super weird anyway. It did have some funny dialogue, so I might release part of it as a drabble after I finish this series, who knows. Instead you got Joe and Forty jerking it together which wasn't even originally in my plan, but I read a Johnlock fic where something similar happened, so there you go.


End file.
